Sarah LeChard Revision Letter

Dear Prof. Young,

                When you hand essays back to me, I try and get the basic corrections (grammar, sentence structure) done the day I get it back, usually when I get back to my room. I don’t make the actual content and idea changes until usually the night before the essay is due. I leave it until now because I work Monday nights and Thursday nights which ended up coincidentally working out that I could do my work for this class at work.

                I think my third essay will be my most improved. I feel that writing about modern topics like this is easier to get into then writing about a book that I don’t understand. There’s nothing specific, it is usually the topic that defines whether I can write well and get into it or not.

                I focus on grammar only for a little bit but then I spend more of the time on content because this is where most of the changes usually need to be changed.

                My knowledge has not gotten much better when it comes to editing grammatically but it has mainly on how to integrate quotes effectively. By using RENNS and SEER, I have better learned to understand how and why it is important to thoroughly explain quotes to make the relevant in an essay.

                When I get feedback, my first thought is not to create a whole new writing style or approach it differently. I like to use the tools I am given to make my writing better, but I am too hesitant to use something I’m not familiar with on an essay.

                Question 6 does not apply. I just do my work.

                When I revise, your comments are what help me the most. I’m not good at editing my own writing because I think what I write the first time is good, that’s why I wrote it.

                Sincerely,

                                                Sarah LeChard

Sarah LeChard

ENGW 1101

Prof. Young

Persuasion Essay

3 April 2015

Hypocritical America

            Living in such a diverse world makes it hard to please everyone. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. lived in a time period where everything was segregated. He lived in a place where his and many others’ beliefs were the opposite of what was actually happening. The Vietnam War was underway for over ten years when King finally had to raise his voice for the ones who couldn’t. In his “A Time to Break Silence” speech, he spoke about how the Vietnam War made the U.S. hypocritical and how it was hurting, rather than helping this nation. In 1967, he stood in Riverside Church in New York City and spoke on America’s hypocrisy, opposing the war. King took a stand for the people of America who were suffering from the decisions of the government. Moral convictions, destroyed crops and death are all still relevant to the current war against ISIS just as they were in the Vietnam War when King spoke on them. 

There is a fine line of being able to help someone and being able to hurt someone else. The United States government intervenes in other countries’ problems thinking they can help come to a solution. This does two things. It brings America into war and also goes against the morals and values of this country and damages everyone involved. Not only was this happening in the 1960’s, it still happens in the same way in modern society. The government enters and stays in war year after year yet preaches that violence is not the answer to solving problems, making this nation appear hypocritical years after “A Time to Break Silence” speech was delivered.

            Morals are what drive society to think and carry out the actions we do. When MLK gave this speech, he explains his beliefs about speaking up as a son of God. “…I must be true to my conviction that I share with all men the calling to be a son of the living God” (King).

By saying this, King is sticking to his morals and values which are speaking up as a son of God protecting those who cannot protect themselves. He will continue to preach what he believes because it is helping others. King will not change his mind on what he believes in because it is not the popular belief or belief that has action taken upon it. The war on terrorism, specifically terrorist groups based in Iraq, has grown with no outlook of ending any time soon. War can be seen as helping or hurting everyone around it. Because ISIS is based in Iraq and calling on their allies in the Western hemisphere, the American government is feeling the need to send troops back into Iraq to help fight this war. After promising to withdraw almost 10,000 troops from Iraq, Obama has sent a request to Congress to get involved in war against the terrorist group ISIS. “American forces will not be returning to combat in Iraq, but we will help Iraqis as they take the fight to terrorists who threaten the Iraqi people, the region, and American interests as well” (Mcclam). Sending in this request shows that even over 40 years later, our President is hypocritical and does things against his word. Moral convictions are not being stood by today like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. did with his when he delivered the ‘A Time to Break Silence’ speech. These words need to be stuck to so that those who cannot stand up for themselves have higher powers working with them, not against.

            In both instances, America has not fought either war in its own country. During the Vietnam War, troops were sent into Vietnam to fight. Not only were innocent Vietnamese citizens being killed at the expense of this war, but their land that they worked hard to build was being destroyed. King said,

“They watch as we poison their water, as we kill a million acres of their crops” (King).  This land being destroyed did not affect anyone in America, therefore nobody cared that it was being taken away from its rightful owner. Americans continued the war as if there were no negative consequences form it. The government felt they had the right to go in and destroy the land that the Vietnamese had fought so long for to have as theirs. In modern society, Obama continuously sends in troops to Iraq just to ensure he is doing all he can to win the battles. Although he did not start this war, he is now the President and Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces. By sending these troops in to fight a current battle against ISIS that is not our problem, he is dispatching more people to destroy the land that innocent Iraqis live on. Their houses, crops, property and possessions are being compromised because Obama feels big enough to invade thinking it will help the United States out. The war against terrorism that Obama is trying to fight does not involve the U.S. Because the U.S. military is in constant war with Iraq, Obama feels the need to keep sending in troops to keep fighting a battle that, this time, is not ours to fight.  “Obama sends Congress a formal request for authorization to fight ISIS with military force” (Mcclam). Putting in this type of request is formally starting a war that the United States has almost no business being in. Now it is a formal war. This war will destroy whatever salvageable ground that Iraq has left. Sending in troops to fight a new war against ISIS, a terrorist group who has not attacked the U.S., shows he has no regards for the damage United States troops will be doing on foreign ground. Martin Luther King would not like to see this kind history repeating itself considering it was what he was trying to prevent from happening again.

            War not only affects those fighting, but also those who surround it. They may not be around the war by choice, but they are there. Living in a country where men with guns and bombs storm wherever they please is almost a death sentence. As Dr. King addresses in this speech, these troops are attacking. They are attacking and causing causalities and deaths. “So far we have killed a million of them – mostly children” (King).

These lives were ended because they were living their normal lives while the Vietnam War was going on around them. These soldiers are killing those around them who have nothing to do with the reason they are fighting in the first place. These people are living in the wrong place at the wrong time. Putting these innocent kids in the middle of a war that has nothing to do with them shows how much concern these people fighting for America has for others. American troops still do this today. They push their way into foreign grounds and kill whoever is necessary to get their assignment done. While trying to help Iraqi citizens get more freedom, the U.S. has killed more innocent people in their own country then the terrorists they should actually be attacking. In Dr. King’s speech, he heavily frowns upon invading other’s territories because it kills innocent people. The fact that so many people, past and present, have lost their lives to war shows that nothing has changed and has a gloomy outlook for the future.

            Living in such a diverse world makes it hard to please everyone. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. lived in a time period where everything was segregated. He lived in a place where his and many others’ beliefs were the opposite of what was actually happening. The Vietnam War was underway for over ten years when King finally had to raise his voice for the ones who couldn’t. In his “A Time to Break Silence” speech, he spoke about how the Vietnam War made the U.S. hypocritical and how it was hurting, rather than helping this nation. In 1967, he stood in Riverside Church in New York City and spoke on America’s hypocrisy and how he opposed the war. King took a stand for the people of America who were suffering from the decisions of the government. Moral convictions, destroyed crops and death are all still relevant to the current war against ISIS just as they were in the Vietnam War when King spoke on them.  There is a fine line of being able to help someone and being able to hurt someone else. The United States government intervenes in other countries’ problems thinking they can help come to a solution. This not only brings American into war but also goes against the morals and values of this country and damages everyone involved.  The government enters and stays in war year after year yet preaches that violence is not the answer to solving problems, making this nation appear hypocritical years after “A Time to Break Silence” speech was delivered.

This is a diverse world. Having many different types of people around each other with different views, there is not a happy medium. Everyone will always have differing views. Dr. King lived in a world where everything was segregated. People’s beliefs were not being honored and the government was making any moves they wanted to. They had no regard for the moral conviction, destruction of other people’s land and homes and absolutely no regard for innocent people’s deaths. Modern day warfare proves that this is still the case. It was like Dr, King never even raised his voice about this situation. MLK’s speech is still relevant in today’s society because people’s ways haven’t changed and they will continue to do what they have done in the past. The government will do what it can with their power. There is no difference between why, how and where war was fought during the Vietnam War and now the war against ISIS.

Works Cited

King, Martin Luther, Dr. “A Time to Break Silence: By Rev. Martin Luther King.” A Time to Break Silence: By Rev. Martin Luther King. Web. 02 March 2015.

Mcclam, Erin. "ISIS Threat: Obama's Remarks Over the Past Year Show Evolution." NBC News. Web. 02 Mar. 2015.

Carte Blanche

Sarah LeChard

ENGW 1101

Essay 1: Freedom

Prof. Young

10  February 2015

Does Anyone Live Carte Blanche?

        The Good Lord Bird, written by James McBride, gives an accurate portrayal of what it was like to live in the time of slavery. If a person were colored, there was a great chance they would be owned by a white person. If a person was white and wealthy, there was a great chance they owned someone. Being a colored person owned by a white person was the norm. Being Mulatto is an in-between, mixed person who is superior to blacks because they are part white. Whoever was all white, took superiority over anyone else. In this book, Pie, a Mulatto woman, is owned by Miss Abby and works for Miss Abby in her whorehouse, which, in return for her work, lets Pie live and eat in her house for free. She has to follow every order given to her in order to please the customers. Blacks who were slaves were treated differently. Sibonia, an all black ,slave who lives in the slave pen, comes off as moronic. Although her first impression isn’t who she truly is, Sibonia can think what she wants, make secret plans and even has the opportunity to learn to read and write from Onion. She can live with the rest of the slaves in this pen and do almost anything she wants. Sibonia may be owned, but she is left with her intelligent mind while Pie is a mulatto who has no choice but to please the men that come into her whorehouse in return for living expenses, giving her less freedom.
        In modern society, freedom is looked at as a right while back in the 1850’s is was looked at as a privilege that only white people got. Slavery was so normal 150 years ago that no one saw the problem with it, except the people being owned. Sibonia sees a problem with how she is treated, being in the slave pen all day therefore she attempts to plan a revolt. White people swore they controlled everything they touched. They got to own colored people and take their freedom away like it meant nothing. The term Mulatto refers to an individual who is mixed, has white and colored genes.

        Pie is a Mulatto woman; therefore she has more rights than Sibonia does due to their race. Pie is

a prostitute in the whorehouse owned by Miss Abby. She has the freedom of living under a roof and having food given to her and not having to pay for anything. She ultimately is told everything she can do and is given off to any drunken man who walks into the house. She cannot say no and cannot argue or she will be kicked out. She cannot make decisions for herself. Pie feels how Onion feels now compared to his past. Onion went from being free to now being a slave in Miss Abby’s establishment. He says “I was back in bondage, true, but slavery ain’t too troublesome when you’re in the doing of it and growed used to it” (McBride 158).  While Onion is trying to defend being owned, Pie, who is also owned by the same person, has no freedom because she is being told what to do every day of her life.

        As a slave in a house filled with drunken, sex crazed men, Pie has experienced many different sexual encounters. She has had to please all of these men in order to keep Miss Abby’s business running. She gets thrown around and forced into an act most women wouldn’t want to be forced into. This gives pie less freedom. Onion soon realizes Pie doesn’t find what she’s forced into as a punishment. As he describes seeing Darg sexually forcing himself onto Pie, he wants to shoot Darg to get him off of Pie but does not. “...I would’a busted in there and put both loads in his head right then, but for her look of liking the whole business immensely” (McBride 190). To others looking in on the situation, Pie being forced into this kind of slavery is a terrible situation to watch, but Pie does not seem to mind. She just needs to do this one thing and gets a free living situation.She has almost grown used to it In comparison to Sibonia, Pie has fewer freedoms such as being able to say yes or no, but that doesn’t seem to matter to her on account that she likes when this happens to her.

        Sibonia has more freedom as a slave than Pie does as a freer woman living in a house. She may live out back behind the building in a pig sty, but she has the freedoms Pie does not. Sibonia can think what she wants and can even learn to read and write without being punished. Because she is living in a slave pen, she will only be there for a limited amount of time. These people that live in the slave pen are only there until their owner is satisfied inside Miss Abby’s business.

        Sibonia has a very smart mind. She comes off as a crazy lady when Onion goes to look for Bob, but once she starts to interact with Onion, she changes. She starts to talk to Onion, giving her lessons

about what will happen if he keeps lying about who he really is. McBride says “She glanced at the hotel door, saw it was still closed, then said to Libby in a plain voice “This child is troubled”” (163).  She puts on an act in front of the other slaves but is actually a somewhat smart individual. Being able to make accusations like this about another person she doesn’t know is a tough thing to do, but Sibonia is smart enough to realize when something isn’t right. “And with that, she turned, picked up her box, and cackled her way across the yard…” (166). She makes herself seem mindless to everyone around her, yet has the ability and freedom to gather her thoughts and plan out whatever she is able to. Although she may not be free, she has more natural born freedoms than Pie does as a slave.

Living in the slave pen has given Sibonia time to think. She sits out back with her thoughts all day long and gets out of doing work whenever Darg comes by because she seems incompetant. She, and all the other slaves, is over how they are being treated. This leads them to want to plan a revolt. Being able to think of ways to get away from their owners gives Sibonia and the other slaves more of a chance to get freedom then Pie does. Sibonia explains, “”I am the woman. I done it. And if I had the chance, I would do it again”” (McBride 176).While not caring that she got caught, Sibonia is loyal and has the decency to not rat out whoever else planned this with her.   Although Sibonia gets caught for plotting a revolt, she still was able to put together something like this due to her freedom in the pen. Darg only checking on the slaves once in a while gives perks to them.

        Being owned means an owner can make a slave work and do whatever he or she feels fit. Pie is constantly told what to do even though she lives for free. This is not freedom. Sibonia is an actual slave and seems like she has gone crazy from living out behind the hotel, meanwhile she can articulate thoughts and rationalize her ideas. Living in these not so great conditions is inspiration enough to want to leave. Pie does not see a reason to want to leave. Having to work for someone is working regardless of one’s status. Working as whore or living outside behind the hotel while someone’s owner is busy getting drunk, they are both owned. Because Sibonia has more human rights in these chapters, she has more freedom than Pie does as a Mulatto subjected to prostitution to live and eat for free.

Works Cited

McBride, James. The Good Lord Bird. New York City: Riverhead, 2013. Print.